The constant nagging desire, has diminished and disappeared.
I don’t want to forget these feelings, what triggered them. I want to write about these emotions, record them and reread them again tomorrow night, next week, 3 years from now. I wish I were a writer. I want to beautifully conduct what it is that I’m experiencing. I don’t ever want to forget how this feels. There’s so much going on, I’m being pulled left and right. I’ve hit my high and I think I’ve hit low. These are memories that I don’t want to ever forget.
I am too easily persuaded
I have secrets on both sides too
I thought this “fuck it” mentality would be fun. It was and it is! It meant doing what I want because I felt like it. It was a decision that I could make for myself. I enjoy the thrills, but I think it’s gone too far and I let it consume me.
I never thought I would let this happen to me. I never thought I’d be that girl. I didn’t think I’d ever let it happen.
But love makes you stupid.
Not in That Way - Sam Smith
Saddest, yet, most beautiful fucking song I have ever heard. It’s like Sam Smith’s soul is outlined with the simplicity of these heart wrenching lyrics.